|
|
|||
| forums: groups: | |||
|
"Ever felt shameful from your fetish? Need help."
Love you, too
CrossPied said: Hi,
This is my first form post. I had heard of WAM a while ago and had lurked on UMD and even bought several videos before, but eventually began to feel shame for having an unusual fetish. I ended up deleting everything but found I needed to come back.
Since then I've discovered things about myself like an interest in crossdressing. I'm starting to regain the confidence, but I want it to stay this time.
Have any of you guys ever felt shame for your fetish, and how did you get over it?
This is my first form post. I had heard of WAM a while ago and had lurked on UMD and even bought several videos before, but eventually began to feel shame for having an unusual fetish. I ended up deleting everything but found I needed to come back.
Since then I've discovered things about myself like an interest in crossdressing. I'm starting to regain the confidence, but I want it to stay this time.
Have any of you guys ever felt shame for your fetish, and how did you get over it?
Yes and no
When I found this place it helped in the shame since but also talking to people in person is an important component of understanding your not alone.
Paint with play and surrender
simp99 said:
I've said to my wife: "Sometimes I feel like I'd be happier without this drive, without this need to ask this of you. Sometimes I wish I was wired like a normal guy, with no weird pie fetish." My fetish does feel like a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing in that it provides me intense pleasure, I don't have the potency issues of many guys my age, and it's taught me to be tolerant of people who are different. (Imagine if we were all expected to "come out" as pie fetishists!) Still, my religious upbringing had taught me to be ashamed of sex, so how was I supposed to feel about the thoughts I was having? How was I supposed to feel about jerking off six or seven times a day to a clip tape of women in pie fights? Shame was my curse.
I'm now in my forties, and I think I'm doing pretty well physically. I'm more fit than most guys my age, and I would guess I have a stronger sex drive than most men my age. In fact, I think pies and wam in general have hugely contributed to my strong sex drive. Ever since I started to masturbate, it's exclusively to wam. Regular porn stimulates me just fine, too, but wam porn and pie clips are my go-to material. Even now, I can go three or four times a day. For example, if I know there are pies in my house because I've prepared a few (usually 2-4) the night before, I will wake up that morning excited. (Ok--most mornings I wake up excited anyways. I'm still young, I guess.) I'll have morning sex with my wife and then go about my day. Later in the afternoon, after a cocktail, my wife and I will have messy sex in the shower or on a dropcloth. I like to video these sessions, too, and a couple hours after messy sex I'm ready to watch the video and go again. If my wife is tuckered out by this point I'll just masturbate, but usually she's pretty energized by what messy sex does to me and my penis and she gets involved in one way or another.
And so the shame that I felt for so much of my life, the shame associated with a weird fetish, has been replaced in a wonderful way by my partner and this community, the UMD. It took a while, but I've come to appreciate being wired the way I'm wired.
I've said to my wife: "Sometimes I feel like I'd be happier without this drive, without this need to ask this of you. Sometimes I wish I was wired like a normal guy, with no weird pie fetish." My fetish does feel like a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing in that it provides me intense pleasure, I don't have the potency issues of many guys my age, and it's taught me to be tolerant of people who are different. (Imagine if we were all expected to "come out" as pie fetishists!) Still, my religious upbringing had taught me to be ashamed of sex, so how was I supposed to feel about the thoughts I was having? How was I supposed to feel about jerking off six or seven times a day to a clip tape of women in pie fights? Shame was my curse.
I'm now in my forties, and I think I'm doing pretty well physically. I'm more fit than most guys my age, and I would guess I have a stronger sex drive than most men my age. In fact, I think pies and wam in general have hugely contributed to my strong sex drive. Ever since I started to masturbate, it's exclusively to wam. Regular porn stimulates me just fine, too, but wam porn and pie clips are my go-to material. Even now, I can go three or four times a day. For example, if I know there are pies in my house because I've prepared a few (usually 2-4) the night before, I will wake up that morning excited. (Ok--most mornings I wake up excited anyways. I'm still young, I guess.) I'll have morning sex with my wife and then go about my day. Later in the afternoon, after a cocktail, my wife and I will have messy sex in the shower or on a dropcloth. I like to video these sessions, too, and a couple hours after messy sex I'm ready to watch the video and go again. If my wife is tuckered out by this point I'll just masturbate, but usually she's pretty energized by what messy sex does to me and my penis and she gets involved in one way or another.
And so the shame that I felt for so much of my life, the shame associated with a weird fetish, has been replaced in a wonderful way by my partner and this community, the UMD. It took a while, but I've come to appreciate being wired the way I'm wired.
Didn't quote your whole post but DANG!
Life's much too short to feel shame! On the fetish spectrum, WAM is pretty flipping harmless. Focus on meeting the right person or people and building the relationship and all the rest should click into place pretty easily.
Bee
Was ashamed for years, before I knew what a fetish was, controlled my life, but now, it's not a secret, most know, but I definitely don't lie about it, people don't understand it, and most still judge me by it, whether they have done it with me or not, it's cost me many relationships, including my marriage, but, it has also brought me much happiness, it's kind of a curse, love it or hate it
CreamMeAgain said: I think this shame is inevitable because this fetish is heavily centered on acts of humiliation. My first time actually shoving something in my face as a sexual act while masturbating was the most satisfying feeling and had a great orgasm and I was IMMEDIATELY embarrassed, humiliated, and ashamed. I didn't enjoy it at all in that moment, I was actually mad at myself, I felt so stupid, like I had bullied myself in some way. I didn't even want to look at myself in the mirror, I washed off as soon as I had done it. I swore I would NEVER do that again. It was deeply embarrassing. But what helped me was lurking on the UMD and making friends in the community who shared my excitement and enthusiasm for getting messy and getting aroused by it. You're not a complete freak and you're not alone in how you feel about this fetish. Humiliation is a strange emotion to navigate, the line between it being fun and it being violating is a hair's width, and you're balancing on it like a tightrope. It's a complex fetish that I feel appeals more to people with a higher intellect and so there's a tendency in us to overanalyze what we're feeling. Our intellect can't really understand our irrational emotions, they're primitive, animal instincts. A pie in the face is just a silly release of sexual or other tension. Maybe you enjoy slapstick because you're in control of how you're being humiliated. Either way, I've found that when I start to overanalyze it, I need a pie in the face to bring me back to my senses 
Glad you're here, hope this helps
Glad you're here, hope this helps I definitely agree with what you say about the humiliation factor.I remember , even as a child. I was always drawn to scenes where people got thrown into the water in their clothes, or hit with pies or dunked in the. It wasn't just the clothes though. It was the wet hair, the way it looked when they came up with it all covering their faces. There was something of a humiliation factor to it which sort of made me feel a bit uncomfortable yet I always found myself intently drawn to these scenes.
Then when I was 13 going on 14,I saw a movie that had a girl in a on a dunk tank. She was dressed in a sleeveless red fringed flapper girl dress. I was struck by how scared and helpless she looked, smiling shyly and giggling with embarrassment as she trembled on the dunking seat. I don't know what was more sexy; how glamourous she looked in her red sleeveless fringed flapper girl dress, or how silly she looked holding her nose and squealing every time someone pitched a ball. When a ball finally hit the target, she went squealing into the water below. As she emerged with her wet hair all covering her face, I thought, "That poor girl! How humiliating!" However for some strange reason, I found myself wanting to BE that girl
A short time later, I was home alone one afternoon taking a shower. As stood under the shower, the water plastered my hair, which was long at the time, down all over my face. My wet hair all covering my face made me think of that girl in the dunk tank. As I got out of the shower, I saw my older sister's bathing suit hanging in the bathroom to dry. It was a red swim dress with fringe, and it reminded me of the red flapper girl dress the girl on the dunk tank had worn. I turned off the shower but let the water continue running. While the tub was filling up with water, I blow dried my hair, and parted it on the side so it flowed over one eye. Then I put on my sister's bathing suit. I looked at myself in the full length mirror on the bathroom door. I looked so much like a girl. Once the tub was filled with water, I got in. Watching myself in the mirror, I held my nose, like the girl on the dunk tank had done, and started to tremble all over. Pretending a ball had hit the target, I dunked myself under the water. I came up with my wet hair all covering my face, When I opened my eyes all I could see was a brown veil of my wet hair. I moved just enough hair out of one eye to see myself in the mirror I looked just like that girl on the dunk tank and at that moment, I WAS that girl on the dunktank, feeling helpless, vulnerable ,a little humiliated, but incredibly excited. So, imagining myself climbing back on the dunk tank, I held my nose and dunked myself again . I dunked myself over and over again, until finally I exploded and sat in the tub exhausted, with my wet hair all covering my face.
However, unlike your experience the first time you "pushed a pie in your face" I didn't feel ashamed. I found I ,thoroughly enjoying being the girl on the dunktank. After that, I did a lot of self-dunkings The bathtub became my own private dunk tank, in which I re-enacted the movie scene with me playing the "dunkinggirl". Yes there was a feeling of embarrassment and humiliation but I was in control of the humiliation. Like you said, maybe we enjoy slapstick because we're in control of how we're being humiliated..
I think in WAM there's often a submission and subjugation factor. I'd have to say I'm more into the submissiveness factor than the subjugation factor. I find the submissiveness in WAM to be feminine trait, and femininity has always been the ultimate turn on for me..Perhaps that's why WAM brought out the girl in me.
Itchy_Nugat said:
I agree with this completely, but I suspect many here don't. Probably half of the content here is models getting deliberately messy while clearly enjoying it, and I think that is pure WAM. I am not at all into pure WAM.
However, I absolutely love comedy humiliation that involves WAM items like pies, slime and water. I couldn't care less about the mess itself, but the image of a person that's clearly embarrassed by their messy predicament turns me on. If they find their outfit humiliating as well, then I'm even more into it. So I can completely understand the draw to crossdress and be nervous about it, then be further humiliated by getting pied in the face, slimed and/or soaked suddenly.
CreamMeAgain said: I think this shame is inevitable because this fetish is heavily centered on acts of humiliation.
I agree with this completely, but I suspect many here don't. Probably half of the content here is models getting deliberately messy while clearly enjoying it, and I think that is pure WAM. I am not at all into pure WAM.
However, I absolutely love comedy humiliation that involves WAM items like pies, slime and water. I couldn't care less about the mess itself, but the image of a person that's clearly embarrassed by their messy predicament turns me on. If they find their outfit humiliating as well, then I'm even more into it. So I can completely understand the draw to crossdress and be nervous about it, then be further humiliated by getting pied in the face, slimed and/or soaked suddenly.
Like you I'm also not into "pure wam" I love the humiliation factor in WAM. Not REAL Humiliation, of course, but the slapstick, comedy variety. In the WAM scenarios I like, a girl submits to a pie-ing or a dunking but she does so willingly, ultimately enjoying the attention and controlling the situation. The girl's pleas and protests, and mock indignation are all designed to provoke others to dunk or pie her some more.
My dunking fetish did in fact lead to my desire to crossdress, but that's not part of the humiliation factor for me. I think in WAM there's often a submission and subjugation factor. I'd have to say I'm more into the submissiveness factor than the subjugation factor. I find the submissiveness in WAM to be feminine trait, and femininity has always been the ultimate turn on for me.. Perhaps that's why WAM brought out the girl in me. Anyway
I don't feel shameful because I never shared my fetish outside of this community. That said, I would be wary of sharing with people I know as I don't want to be judged.
To be honest no one has to feel shameful and that is why this website is a great source of and support and community.
To be honest no one has to feel shameful and that is why this website is a great source of and support and community.
I like things messy, very messy.
